DAYCARE SO FAR

Well, today is day 2 of "phase in week" at the daycare center! Yesterday Owen was there for 1 hour and when I left was crying but when I picked him up he was sitting on Ms. Ester's lap reading a book. Of course, when he saw me he started to cry and couldn't run quick enough to me. Today is a different story. When I brought him to the classroom one of the other children pushed Owen down and he started to cry, not off to a good start. Ms. Ester quickly picked Owen up and distracted him and he was o.k. for now. I spoke with Ms. Ester for a few moments and turned around to leave and not make a big deal about it, well my little guy saw me leaving and got HYSTERICAL! I know I did the right thing and kept walking out but I have to tell you my heart was breaking. I sat in front of the center and cried for 20 minutes and then got myself together to call inside and see if he was o.k. They said he was fine, but would they tell me if he wasn't????? I am not so sure.

I keep telling myself that I have to do this, that I have to go back to work even if it's only for a short time but seeing him so upset just breaks my heart. I don't know how I am going to be able to leave him there and be so far away from him. Right now I am only 5 minutes away, but once I go to work both Bob and I are an hour away. I am not o.k. with that.

I'm going to go have a cup of hot tea, cry a little bit and then go get my little boy. His mommy misses him.