WHAT A FACE....

FINALLY, I HAVE MY BOY BACK!

I am very happy to report that Owen is 95% himself again. We've made a huge turn in his recovery process and he is acting like the little boy that I love so much. It took over 2 weeks for Owen to start showing signs of improvement but when he did it was huge! One day he was refusing to drink and the very next day there was no stopping him from drinking. He has another follow-up appointment with the surgeon on Monday!

Our little guy also experienced snow for the very first time last week. We really haven't had enough snow that you could go outside and play in it, but Friday we finally did and he had a blast. At first he didn't know what to do with it but once he got his "feet wet" there was no stopping him.

I went back to work last week, I am working Monday, Wednesday and Friday. Owen did pretty good with daycare, especially since he hasn't been there in over four weeks. There was very little crying. We will see what this week brings, he goes again tomorrow.

I am not sure if you can see the snow man in the picture, Owen is standing next to it, it so small because each time I got our snow man up Owen found a way to knock it down, I had finally given up and made a little snow man. LOL

I WOULD LIKE TO THANK THE SUPPORTING STAFF!

I noticed that in my last couple of post I hadn't mention what a wondeful job Bob (daddy) has been doing. My post pretty much was a self pity party for me. But truthfully, if it not had been for daddy I might have not made it through this, literally. It wasn't just me up all night with the screaming, daddy was right there with me and he had to get up at 4:30 a.m. to go to work, some days work for 12 hours and then come home and relieve me for a little while so that I could recharge and prepare for the long nights. He did all this without once complaining about being tired. So, THANK YOU daddy your wife and son love you very much and although we don't say it as much as I should, you are very much appreciated.

Also, I need to say thank you to my mom who on somedays called me three times just to check on me and tell me that I am doing a great job and I am a good mommy. Truthfully, I needed to hear it I was starting to think I was doing something wrong. THANK YOU MOMMY, for always saying the right thing at the right time. We love you very much!

SO HOW ARE WE DOING 2 WEEKS POST SURGERY?

We still aren't sleeping through the night, usually getting up every 2 hours or so. One night I actually got 5 hours in a row!! Last night, not so lucky. Owen was up every 2 hours. I've come to the conclusion that it's not so much that he is in pain but that he is hungry. But how do I explain to a 2 year old that if he just ate more during the day he would feel better at night?

We have made progress with drinking, he is back to using the sippy cup! THANK GOODNESS! Eating is still hit or miss. Things he liked pre-surgery he doesn't want anything to do with now. Today we are off to a good start, he had yogurt and oatmeal for breakfast, a nutrigrain bar and a black/white cookie that daddy bought him for valentines day, actually it was red and white for valentines day.

We also went to daycare today for a little bit to get Owen re-aquinated with the teacher and other kids. He did well, there was no crying but he didn't want to leave my side. I had figured that was going to happen, let's face it for the last 4 weeks it's been me and him, were eachother's best friends. I know that next week will be rough for him at first when he has to go back, but I think it will get better quick and he will like being with the other kids.

Thank you to everyone that sent well wishes, it really helps to know you are all out there! It has not been an easy 2 weeks, I am not sure what I thought the recovery would have been, but I am sure I had no idea it would be like this. My little buddy has been in so much pain, it broke my heart to see him that way, I am just happy that we seem to be turning the corner and hopefully things will keep getting better.

I hope everyone had a great Valentines Day, I had a great day. I spent it with Owen and then we cooked Chicken Cordon Blue for daddy.

Have a great weekend!

ONE WEEK SINCE SURGERY

It's been a week since Owen had his cleft palate repair and I would be lying if I said everything was great, actually everything is awful....

Owen will not eat or drink, except for the occassional yogurt. He is getting up every two and half hours every night, I am surving on 4 hours sleep and that is not all together, Bob is back to work and this is his weekend to work so I am all by myself and literaly on the verge of a mini-nervous breakdown. I find myself having less patients with him and that really upsets me.

We had our follow up appointment with the surgeon yesterday and he assures me that this is all normal that Owen is in alot of pain and needs to relearn to eat and drink with the repair, very easy for him to say except he is not here, he is not listening to the blood curdling screams. I cried when I asked typically how much longer is this going to last and he said probably about another week of the pain. I don't think I can make it another week. On top of this we need to watch that he doesn't become dehydrated because if he does then we will need to bring him to the hospital for IV.

I don't think I was prepared for this, I don't think I had any idea just how awful this process was going to be. I am one second from crying every minute, and most days I cry alot. I am tired, very very tired.

OWEN IS HOME

I am happy to report that our little guy is home and doing o.k. Surgery was a succuss and true to Owen's nature he was the trooper we knew he would be.

Surgery took 2 1/2 hours, they placed tubes in both ears and repaired his palate. His surgeon said that the cleft was deeper then orginially thought and that it involved three layers of the palate. I asked how many stitches he received and he replied with "I don't think you really want to know, but for a number I will say around 65" I am figuring it is a lot more but he was right I don't want to know. I was so repaired for Owen to be in pain from the cleft repair but was not prepared for him to be in pain from the placement of the tubes. I think because everyone made that surgery seem so simple but let me tell you our boy is in serious pain from his ears, he keeps rubbing behind them and moaning. It is very sad.

I should also mention that when they brought him into the recovery room we were waiting for him, thankfully the surgeon came out to talk with us prior to seeing our baby and prepared me for what I was going to see, he had splits on both arms to stop him from touching his mouth and he had a stitch that went from his tongue (yes, it was attached to his tongue) coming out of his mouth and tapped to his check. This was so that he would not swallow his tongue. It broke my heart seeing him this way, when he saw me he tried to wrap his arms around me but couldn't and just cried, we both cried.

Early yesterday morning the surgical team came to see him and removed the stitch immediately which of course made Owen very happy but they kept the splits on his arms by mid-morning Owen's arms were so red and irrated by them that I couldn't take it anymore, I found the resident on duty and told him that I wanted them off now, that we are watching him and won't allow him to touch his mouth. When we took them off Owen wrapped both arms around me and gave me lots of kisses.

I am so happy that this part of our family journey is over and can honestly say that this experience has truly taught me the meaning of a mothers love, I would do anything to take his pain away and make all this o.k. right now, I want so badly for him to understand that we did this for him, because we love him and want him to lead a happy and healthy life. But I know that he doesn't understand, I also understand when people say he is young he won't remember this, but I will remember, I will never get the look he had out of my head when I placed him on the operating table and they placed the mask over his mouth to put him to sleep, I will never forget the overwhelming pain I felt when I had to leave the operating room and walk away from my baby and leave him in the hands of the surgical team, my last words to the surgeon was "I am putting my world in your hands, please treat him like he was your own" the doctor gave me a hug and promised to place my son in my arms when this was all over better then when I left him And that is exactly what he did, when Owen came into the recovery room it was his surgeon holding him and he placed my son in my arms better then I had left him.

THANK YOU to everyone who has called, emailed, blogged, text message it is all appreciated and greatly needed.

Here is a picture of Owen in the family room at the hospital playing with the piano, you can see the splits in this picture, but doesn't he look good for a little boy who just had major surgery?